Life Online: toxic bragging and unattainable perfection

Social media feels like the devil in a Sunday hat, an endless internal tug of war about whether to delete my accounts or not. It’s great having limitless access to information and to talk to people across the world but at the same time I’m being restrained by the fear of being attacked by a million other voices. I used to think social media was the best thing in the world when I first discovered it. Now it’s filled with Deepfakes, Facetime bugs, TikTok storing children’s data and we can’t forget about the Cambridge Analytical scandal. It all makes me feel so miniscule and powerless.

There is also the pressure to glamorise and plaster my whole life on social media and it’s unbearable. “Why don’t you post about me on social media?” Is an actual question that I’ve been asked by my ex; I was dumb founded. It’s shocking that people need to advertise their relationships over social media to verify its existence. Why do we need likes and comments to make us feel good about our lives? Photos, long paragraphs declaring our love for each other and changing our relationship status on Facebook it’s all part of this brag culture that is just toxic. I don’t know about you but I feel more appreciated when someone tells me how they feel in person.

Looking back now there wasn’t just magazines that warped my view of how a female body should look and work like, I had Facebook and Tumblr to also thank for that. The renowned hashtag of ‘thinspiration’ and the endless stream of skinny models I dreamed to be like growing up was unobtainable and damaging. It seems like not much has changed since then other than there are more apps to fill with negative and unattainable perfection. Now, we can all use Snapchat and Facetune to change the way we look, blemish and flaw free. Can’t we just be real about how we look before we all are looking through a facade lens? Even now I find my feed filled with Instagram models with figures I don’t have time or energy to work for.

That small notification 'seen at 14:32' let's someone know you have seen their message and it can be so detrimental. People have this expectation that we must be responded to, once you become active on social media without instantaneously responding to people, they become bitter. But at the same time, you feel the need to give your time to all of these people just because they’ve decided out of the blue to send you a message that will amount to nothing, no new relationship will be ignited. I’ve had endless amounts of conversations with friends where they have told me that someone they’re dating, or maybe their friend hasn’t responded to their message, but they were active five minutes ago. Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather be left alone than waste my day obsessing over when someone is going to message me, constantly checking my phone or stalking their activity on social media.

This is not the only toxic bragging that is plastered online, expensive luxuries are constantly being advertised as being the soul of happiness. From Gucci slides to sports cars and mansions saturating Instagram, it’s either showing off to the world how much money you have or you’re the one endlessly scrolling wishing you had all that money. It’s just a constant reminder to me that I’m a poor student and I can’t afford anything nice (I’m not complaining – I swear). But I’m not completely blameless, I also try to show off the best parts of my life. I will spend almost an hour choosing the right picture for Instagram and then picking the best filter and then an interesting caption with not too many hashtags. And most of the time I will end up just deleting it. It’s ridiculously time consuming, and it’s time I could spend doing something that’s actually fulfilling and something I enjoy doing.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not all doom and gloom. I love that I can see what my family and friends are up to, follow my favourite bloggers and YouTubers, and it makes my life as a journalist a lot easier. I can find people to interview for pieces I’m writing just by finding their accounts on Twitter, or I can use certain hashtags and people who are willing will just respond, it’s that easy! It’s also easy for me to put my phone down and enjoy my time with family and friends, I’ve always been disciplined when it comes to not scrolling whilst eating out or having a coffee with someone. But while my phone is tucked away, I’m looking across the table at someone who would much rather scroll through their Instagram feed than listen to me tell them about my day.